Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Skittles: Taste (a part) of the rainbow.

Football is over.  I hate it.  It's cold outside, and the insanely long and boring baseball season is still several weeks away.  And please STOP with this pitchers and catchers reporting BULLSHIT!! I don't care, until the regular season starts, it's just EXHIBITION.

Anyway, I digress.  I'm bored blogging about sports, and I'm an angry cranky soon-to-be-old man that is upset that my favorite time of the year (i.e. football season) and come and gone, again.  The Super Bowl was great, outside of the RIDICULOUSLY LONG HALFTIME SHOW THAT PROBABLY ONLY CATERED TO ABOUT 5% OF ACTUAL FOOTBALL FANS.  Oh, and that 30+ minute power outage!!  Sorry, I have to stop, I could write for days about how stupid the halftime shows are.  Let me get to my point.

I AM MAD AT SKITTLES!!!!!  I have had enough, and I am going to put an end to my anger once and for all.  I recently purchased a bag of Skittles and ONLY received THREE red skittles in the entire BAG!  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!  So I took it upon myself to write up a complaint to Skittles (i.e. Wrigley/Mars), and tell them how I feel about them right now.

Here is the letter, in it's entirety:

Dear Skittles Company:

I recently purchased a bag of Skittles out of the vending machine here at work.  I was shocked and appalled after opening the bag and ONLY finding 3 red skittles in the bag!!  Red skittles are BY FAR the best flavor, and I have at least 3 office mates that agree with me (Tom, Mindy and Joe).  I'm sure most people feel this way.  In fact, if you sold bags of ONLY red skittles, I'm sure it would totally be a great thing and so many people would just buy those.  I'm not even sure how yellow and green got in the mix, and purple is average at best.  It's the 20th century now, and there has to be a machine or robot invented that can sort these colors better.  I have google, but have not researched enough to know if the red skittles cost more to make, but I don't think that is it, because most things that come in different colors cost the same, EVEN CARS!  

I am at a loss at what to do.  I have tried contacting Martin Radvan the LEADER of your company but cannot find his email address anywhere.  Your company is OBVIOUSLY avoiding this, and other issues by making it hard to get in touch with him or others including the people that sort the Skittles or their supervisors.

I have CC'd this letter to THE WHITE HOUSE AND THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA because I do not KNOW who else to turn to.

In retribution for the HORRIBLE experience I have had with your company, I demand that you make changes on your sorting line, starting with the hiring of robots that can do the job arbitrarily, or offer full bags of ONLY RED SKITTLES.  If neither of these demands can be made, I will settle for one or two bags of free Skittles (WITH PROPER NUMBER OF RED ONES!!!).  Those can be sent to me at the address provided on the complaint form.  But I REALLY want you to try the robot sorters first.

In addition to sending this complaint, I have posted this information on my sports blog ( which gets AT LEAST 10 or 15 hits a day, and at LEAST half of those are by real humans and not spammers.  I have also tweeted that link to @Skittles. I have been in contact with the people over at Starburst, and I may be switching to them.  At least with Starburst I KNOW what colors I will be getting, even though THE YELLOW STARBURSTS SUCK TOO!!!  I also twitted this myself, and have over 100 followers, SO MY VOICE WILL BE HEARD!!!

I apologize for the lengthy complaint, but this has really got me upset, and enough is enough.  Please forward this to the desk of Martin Radvan ASAP.  

Thank you in advance for a speedy response to these matters.


Brian Kenealy

PS- You have 48 hours.

Only three reds?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I am very curious to see how or if they respond.  I don't think my demands are THAT outrageous??  

These are the things that I obsess over when I don't have football to keep my mind focused. AND IT'S ONLY BEEN 3 DAYS SINCE THE SEASON ENDED!!

On another note, been tweeting a lot lately (@bk1374), and following some REALLY funny tweeters, I encourage you to check them out. Here are a few samples.  Some of it is really OUT THERE, but still a good laugh:

OK, that's all I got for today.



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